The homework question for my Science of Happiness class was this today, "The famous BEATLES lyric "I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love" relates to this question about money and happiness. Science suggests that the relationship between them, money and happiness, is fairly limited--it can help up to a certain level, but then its effects taper off. What do you think is going on? Why do you think people continue to pursue greater and greater stockpiles of money, despite its diminishing contribution to happiness?"
I didn't answer it directly, but I wrote some words that I felt needed to be shared. It is a raw writing, and I'm not going to refine it. I have too much other writings I'm doing, but the thoughts mattered to me, and I felt a burden lifted from my chest as I wrote them. Happiness is something I have struggled with for many years, but in the end I have found joy, and it isn't from money. Money certainly helps, and is necessary to exist, but happiness begins beyond that. Finding beauty in the small moments is where I find happiness. The sunset always brings me joy. A river always gives me piece. A beautiful woman's smile always brightens my day. And I give myself the capacity to still have child like adoration for those moments as they happen. And that is where I have found the most happiness, is in giving myself the space to be happy in all moments. Even the "dark" ones. Finding the lesson in darkness helps me be grateful, but if I can't find a lesson, sometimes the rain just feels good. Anyway, here is my direct response to this question. (Oh yeah, and everyone should take this FREE class. If you want to, contact me)
This is an issue that hits extremely close to home for me. I've been raised in all different socio-economic classes during the course of my life. My parents were middle class, until they divorced. My step dad, and his family, are definitely high class. When I journeyed away from home, I became working class, with no support. After my divorce, I fell the farthest I've ever fallen, even winding up being working homeless. Having wandered across a variety of different classes, and attaining happiness at each level, I have learned a lot about genuine joy. Genuine joy comes from practical happiness, and realistic happiness. Each different class has a their own, general, approach to happiness. My successful step dad insists my happiness (and his acceptance for me) comes from production. What have I produced in my life? Where are my objects? Where are my symbols of success at the family dinner? He doesn't see the joy I've created in my life from the experiences I've had, the lessons I've learned; he doesn't understand my gratitude for the fires that forged me. His view doesn't permit for an intrinsic happiness. And that's okay. My Father worries about my happiness because I've struggled with depression my whole life. He knows how dark and depressed I can get, and he worries that my baseline happiness is low. I haven't been eloquent enough with my words, and he hasn't been open enough to hearing them, to hear what happiness means to me. Everyday I wake up, I hate that I was asleep. Sleep is hard for me. I am an empath, and the world is in a lot of pain. Some nights are hard, I am concerned about the state of this world. Sometimes, this is overwhelming, and I become depressed under the weight of my thoughts. Just as an body builder would during an intense workout. But if I didn't wake up every morning, feeling something was wrong, I would be less inclined to care. Yet, this doesn't mean that I'm not happy. Darkness does not diminish light. Anyway, that was a lot of roundabout words to answering a question, that I haven't really answered yet. They just kind of fell out of me, and I'm not going back to edit, so if it feels a little raw. That's why. Living in all these varying degrees of economic class I have seen the methods that people take to happiness. A lot of rich people i know, found wealth, and then in finding wealth, did not find happiness. A lot of poor people I know, are happier that I've ever seen a furrowed brow wealthy person. But every where, people are always trying to escape to happiness. People chase ideas of happiness. People chase notions of being happy, without ever feeling joy in the moment. There is a wonderful cartoon I saw once of a guy sitting on a park bench with a thought cloud about his head that said, "I want to be happy." A monk walks up and takes out the "I want to be" part, and walks away. For so many people happiness is a place, a destination, a goal, a lifestyle, a thing, a mystery, an object, a promotion, a job, a person, a memory, an economic status, an experience....... Or maybe happiness just is.
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